So many ideas and desires to do things that are not in my realm of reality right now. Now, my boss is asking me what I think should happen with the site I work on. Honestly, he is wasting a lot of money on it, but some of that money pays for our groceries, daycare, bills, etc. And seeing that security go away is scary. I think that deep down he just keeps the site going so he can justify paying me to keep around and take care of his ideas and whims.
One week it's this thing, next week it's another. Oh my, the plot is thickening as I type between here and my IM. Could this be it? The axe? The cutting of the ties? Tony's agreed that things aren't working with the site, and he said that it's all about me and not the site.
Ay yi yi...This may be the moment I have prayed for and dreaded at the same time. If I don't work for Tony, I'd have to get a full time job somewhere to make up what he pays me. But then I'd have to put Ezra in fulltime daycare. Can my husband really believe that God will supply our needs if I don't work full time? I have all these projects and things I want to do, but after years of living the way I have, I feel guilty for going after them 100%.
Maybe he'll keep me on and work on other projects. We'll see. It's just a crazy ride, not sure what to do or if I should even do anything. I am almost waiting for Tony to drop me. But he thinks that I am the way to profit somehow. More on this later, just had to vent.
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Oh my goodness! What a post...and of course you aren't on IM! Darn you! Let me know what happens. We are living proof that God will supply your needs even when it seems impossible. Truly!
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