What's that sound? Did you hear it? Ah, that's the sound of joy being sucked out of life. If you were to go into the dictionary and look up the word 'encouragement' and then look at the antonyms, you would see my husband's name there.
Seriously. I am just now coming to the reality that: A. my dear husband is the most negative person I've ever been influenced by, and B. that I have wasted so much time by letting myself listen to the negative remarks that pop forth, and C. I can't do anything about it! I just need to keep my mouth shut apparently and never tell him about anything I get excited about or anything that I am thinking about, because...it never fails...he'll literally go out of his way to try to discourage me. Makes for a very boring and predictable life, I'll tell ya.
This isn't a Jason-bashing session, I just have to realize how he is and accept him! I love him very much, but my goodness....how did I not see this before?!
I know he loves me. But I don't think he's capable of ever thinking about life the way I do. I know some people who care about me very much are reading this. And if they do, the best thing to do for me is pray and be the encourager to your spouse that mine isn't for me. It will take a miracle if things change. And I am sure I am not telling you anything you didn't know already.
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3 comments:
Jenn,sometimes sharing your feelings so truthfully is a big step. Although, you know we have had this conversation before, so you are right, it isn't new to me. And the ones that love you that read this..are the ones that love you and will give encouragement and prayer, I am sure of that! In many years of being a Christian, I know from personal experience, time and time again, that PRAYER is POWERFUL!!!!! And I also don't think that God would want you to sit back and give in to defeat....that He would want you to be the Jennifer Dee Samson I have known for ...almost...34 years! Yes, we always want positive feedback from our husbands...why in the world do we always ask him if we "look too fat in this outfit!!" Just putting a little lightheartedness in this...anyway, we have our identity in Christ. We hear that all the time I know, but He gives us everything we need and gives us strength. Keep on being excited about new projects, and thinking that the impossible will be possible!!I love you sooo much. You are an awesome woman. Enuff said!
oops, I was just about to remove this from my blog...thinking about how i should honor my husband. and what i wrote isn't very honoring to him, but I guess it's what everyone knows anyway.
Thanks for the words, Mom. Christ is my encourager and He brings the people in my life I need, both the encouragers and those who are not positive.
I totally agree with your mom! We've also had tons of conversations about this and I do think it's one thing to "chat" about it and another to pour out your heart in print...seeing it there. You know we pray for you guys all the time and love you all very, very much!
I don't think it's husband bashing...I think it's being open, honest and letting us know how we can minister to you best.
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